late

a few years after our brake up, you started texting me again. you wanted to meet, and i suggested we´d meet at the beach. it was early september, warm days and cold nights. i got there first, i went to the highest rock and sat down on top of it, yellow sky and quiet sea

i heard your footsteps behind me and i hesitated to turn around, you sat down next to me without saying a word. we were the only people there. i looked at you, i felt noxious. you stared at me for a few seconds and then you started talking about your last few years, how they had been so turbulent. and i had to remind myself over and over that kissing you was a bad idea

you lit a cigarette, i didn't want one. i told you that i had thought about you a lot. you asked if we could ever be something again. we both knew that it would never work. and i watched you smile again, smoke again, laugh again. and i battled the wish to touch you again, kiss you again, love you again

the yellow light made sure you looked your best. you answered all my questions, i felt like i had never really known you. your hair, your neck, the energy around you, the sun, the waves, a feeling of doing something illegal. i had no idea that it was so easy to suddenly find myself in the middle of it again, in the middle of you

ph:here

care free

sitting outside for hours and hours being hungry and cold and wanting to go to the toilet but all that had to wait because of the moment we were in

smoking feeling holding your head in my hands

the sun setting and the clouds closing in on us, your burgundy-red shirt and my blue nail polish just starting to come off. i admired your freckles closely and you asked me if this please could just last. a few months later it was over, but you and your gentle soft look have never stopped being what i compare others to

meeting half way and climbing through your window. elbows touching and the smell of cigarettes and cheap wine spilling all over you. running through gardens, rolling on grass while screaming god i wish this could last forever

that feeling. its so long ago but it still knocks me over